My New Years resolution for 2019 is fairly simple: I don’t want the unachievable. I want to look back at the end of 2019 and realize that I not only achieved my goals, I exceeded them. That said, I do have an expanded list of resolutions (see below).
And I wanted to start with a look back at the old year… How did I do?
Looking back, 2018 was another hard year that started out with more wandering about lost in the middle of health issues beating me up and not being able to make much headway financially. This is not going to be a negative, whiny post–I promise!–but I had to say that.
There were huge emotional whammies that had to be faced and dealt with, but I did it and–survived! And I kept going.
My first New Years resolution for 2019 is to keep surviving, to keep getting back up again no matter how many times I get knocked down… and keep going.
In 2018, I had a few wobbles, but I did this well.
Vitally necessary things happened:
I worked my way out of the worst of the microcytic anemia. I got my brain (mostly) back! Woohoo! My focus is better, I have more energy, I’ve been cleared to start a physical exercise program–if I can just figure out how to make it happen. I do know, however, that it isn’t going to include a treadmill…
This wasn’t just a goal met, this was a tremendous answer to prayer.
I still have physical limitations. I still can’t work outside the home or attend church, or visit new construction or hang out with large crowds of people, or many of the things I haven’t lately been able to do that everyone else takes for granted.
But I was able, because of a new supplement I started taking, to have fewer and less debilitating reactions to chemical contaminants in my environment–as long as I keep my exposure to a minimum. I didn’t always succeed at that in 2018.
When I failed, the consequences were still quite severe. No one else in my acquaintance expects to put on 20-30 lbs of weight from swelling and reactions just from visiting a loved one at the hospital. This happened. Now I have to take that weight off somehow…
This leads me to my next resolution for 2018: staying away from the hospital.
To be precise, I plan to stay away from Bryan Memorial East, Tower A. Unless you’re absolutely in danger of dying like Dad was, I can’t visit you there. Ever. They saved his life and I’m very grateful, but…such a toxic chemical environment. They should qualify for Superfund status.
New Years Resolution #3: I want to create more and better artwork
–and get paid well for it–in 2019.
I created some of my best artwork in 2018.
I am retraining myself on the creative writing. I’m doing a better job of promoting and marketing my artwork and designs, and curating what I have so that what I’m selling is more of my best work.
I expect this to have a positive effect for next year, where I hope and pray I’ll be able to keep it up, and do more and do it better, and achieve better results–and finally make better headway, now that the pieces are coming together again for me physically.
New Years Resolution #4: I want to be there for my kids where and as they need me.
With Maria being in college and Robbie out on his own, they don’t need me as much as they used to…or do they? I am learning that even adult children need their parents, just in different ways than they need them when they’re younger.
Emotional support seems to be a huge need. I want to rejoice with my kids over what gives them joy and comfort them in their grief and sorrows. Mostly, I just want to be there for them and emotionally engaged.
In 2018, that was a real challenge, but…we seem to have survived it this far. And we learned a lot and worked through issues that had to be addressed. I even have reason to believe that we may possibly be in a slightly better place today. I hope and pray we can move on and continue to grow as we learn to relate and support each other even better.
In 2018, we also worked on getting Maria the medical help she so desperately needed. We found some answers (finally). Finding those answers wasn’t cheap, but the solution isn’t impossibly horrible either. And we think we can do what has to be done for at least three months.
Robbie had his health struggles too. He seems to have found some partial answers on his own, but–I want so much more for him! Well, of course, I do…and I’m looking for ways to support him and contribute to that journey.
In 2019, my fifth resolution is to support my daughter and my son
in their journeys toward better health.
I’m also praying hard over Robbie and Maria: that God would meet their needs spiritually in the way each of them most uniquely and individually needs those needs to be met.
This year, we almost lost Dad twice. I am so grateful that he is well and whole, and still with us. I am so grateful that Mom has been well through all of this. I love them so very much, and I would be so lost right now without them.
This leads me to my sixth and last New Year’s resolution:
no more family emergencies in 2019!
Seriously, we all just really need to take a year off and catch our breath.